A key sexual behavior throughout the entire animal kingdom is the seeking of a sex partner. Humans are no exception to this rule. A sexual encounter can be the result of the sending signals indicating readiness for sex, and being receptive to reciprocal signals. Or, it might be the result of years of planning, through the use of cultural rituals such as courtship and marriage.
Common methods:
- Personal choice - a person chooses for themselves their own partner, according to their own wishes
- Status based roles - a high status person in some cultures may choose partners backed by the force of social custom, and low status persons have little or no choice or expectation of avoiding the same. (For example, some employer-employee liaisons, and droit de seigneur)
- Mutual trade - prostitution
Additionally, the pool of available and acceptable candidates may be limited, to own town, own religion, similar status, tactically advantageous (eg to cement social bonds or make peace), and so on.
Locating and identifying potential partners
Industries enabling sex or sexual communication include nightclubs, singles bars, personal want ads (in newspapers and on the web), dating services, and brothels, among many others. Many organizations and clubs sponsor events that bring people with similar interests together. Religious and family connections provide another way for people to meet.
The encounter between potential partners
Once a person has located another person with whom they desire to have sex, the first thing usually done is to introduce themselves or position themselves in such a way that he or she will introduce himself or herself, or to non verbally demonstrate their sexual availability and interest to the person in question. This is usually not simple, and can be quite awkward.
The fear of rejection
The fear of rejection is common when trying to befriend a potential partner. If the participants are both sensitive to the other's signals, then they can detect quickly whether their sexual objectives are mutual. However, misreading another person's signals is a common occurrence, and can lead to misunderstandings/disappointment, and as such, this is a huge detractor in the stakes of relationships, and so many relationships are consigned to fantasies based on this fear. It is worth noting that some people consume alcohol, sometimes to excess, in order to "smooth things down," i.e, overcome this fear. If they discover soon enough that their objectives are at odds with one another, then a conversation can end before either one loses face, and then each person can seek others with whom to communicate. On the other hand, if the communication results in an escalating sense of intimacy for both participants, then a degree of trust is established that mitigates the fear of rejection.